bonski’s box

A year before today, I was trying my best to get out of the Christmas blues: being busy with work, hanging out with friends and just about anything to get my mind off Christmas. You see its one thing being alone during Christmas, it’s another thing being alone and away from your wife during Christmas.We really missed each other last year, she felt the same way. We both were lonely.

Loneliness is one of the biggest reason, infidelity is so rampant with people away from their loved ones. You can easily be tempted to appease your loneliness. Forget about love, kids; loneliness drives people to justify their infidelity with the shortcomings of their husband/wife.Having said that however, I too was tempted, but I couldn’t see myself hurting my wife so I cut it short early on. Only a strong marital/love foundation can let that person see past the momentarily physical weakness.

Anyways, my rants aside, this year my Wife and I celebrated Christmas, snuggled to each other(very cold in Saudi this time of year) and watching "Happy Feet." We weren’t lonely anymore.

I enjoy music, it keeps me sane and gets me in the groove of things like preparing for a presentation, coding furiously and analysis. Depending on the situation, the music that listen varies: pysching myself up:Rock/Alternative, pushing the envelope:ear drums bashing with Dream Theater’s drums, or relaxing:Jazz/Instrumentals(mostly John Williams.) That’s why I missed the radio stations in the Philippines(Joey, Killerbee, Crossover) in Bacolod, this stations were basically my buddy during college, always there for me.

Here in the Middle East, the radio stations here are for the most part basic, it means that sometimes they play good songs but most of the time they don’t(country yuck!!) Good thing I chanced upon Bitstop’s(a Philippine ISP) eradioportal which streams most the better radio stations in the Philippines. I can now listen music and even AM, real-time. It was great and all, but sometimes their Media Streaming server isn’t working and sometimes I don’t like the music that they play(choosy little devil.)

Then I stumbled upon Pandora(isn’t the Internet great?) which is basically an Internet radio which streams audio to users. Now the concept isn’t just playing music but rather playing music or artist that you like. If you’re familiar with tags in blogs, it acts basically the same to connect Artists and music together but instead of tags it uses(I think) music genres to connect each other. So it seems you have a seamless stream of music of the Artists plus music/artists of the same genres. The good thing about it though, although they’re of the same genre you might not like that song given to you, you can flag the song "I Don’t Like It" and it will move along the next song. I think the purpose of this service is to have the artists new and veterans alike to have a wide variety of audience and make those audience aware of some of their songs. That’s why the menu also shows buy from ITunes or Amazon, nice marketing tool. Every search, will be placed on your separate "Station", although I think in the long run it will become un-wieldy when you have a lot of stations created, I don’t see any sort of maintenance section of the flash application.  Nevertheless, it’s now goodbye (for now) to my MP3 collection as I tune in to this free service, as I discovered new artists/songs as I "stream" along this cool internet radio.

I have always been a Sci-Fi kind of guy, dreamt that I was Luke SkyWalker; wielding the ever so coveted Light Saber, flying the X-Wing to the heart of the Death Star and "Use the Force Luke" destroyed it(several times in-fact). Fan of Sci-Fi movie(s) like: Contact, Battlestar Galactica, Tron, Alien and a whole lot of others, with exception of Star Trek, never really clicked with me, must be the tights they’re wearing hehehe.

Well, imagine me getting hooked with Gilmore Girls, I have my share of drama series mostly foreign(the only local drama series I watch more is Malaala mo Kaya) the likes of ER, CSI, Boston Public among others, which although are drama series are not perpetually melodramatic as our local shows which does nothing but make housewives cry heheh(no offense.) We never really took notice with GG before but we(me and my wife) sort of got hooked as the season progressed, must be the storyline and the characters themselves. To those not familiar with Gilmore Girls a little overview of the show and the characters:

* Gilmore girls is the story of single mom Lorelai Gilmore(Lauren Graham) and daughter Lorelai "Rory" Gilmore(Alexis Bledel) sometimes whimsical struggle at life, living at the now mythical place called "Stars Hollow" supposedly somewhere near Connecticut. Lorelai who got pregnant in her teens, chose to be independent from the suffocating tentacles of her domineering Mother Emily Gilmore(Kelly Bishop), and tried rearing up Rory by herself by dropping out of college and started working as housekeeping at a small Inn, which she managed later after several years of working there. Rory had wanted to go to Harvard all here life and be the next "Christianne Amanpour", in order for her to do that she has to go to a reputable prep school, Chilton, so Lorelai swallowed her pride and asked for her parent’s help. The parents who are very well off agreed, actually it was sealed by an actual contract, to pay for Rory’s education provided they will come every Friday night for dinner with her Grandparents. Of course, Lorelai dreads every Friday night dinner, but has come to terms of the inevitable, although if she can come up with an excuse not to be there she would. Basically, that’s where the story took off, Rory’s early struggle in Chilton, Lorelai’s trouble with finding a partner she can keep or in the later Season(4) she would be managing her own inn(The DragonFly Inn), Rory’s change of mind of going to Harvard and instead choose Yale, among others.

What amazed me was that how fast this two girls(ladies) talk, most of it with wit and humor although sometimes the sardonic kind. What impressed me most is Alexis Bledel who is not a native English speaker but a Spanish speaker(she hails from South America), and had to learn English in school, deliver those lines with the finesse of a native speaker. Their relationship are more of buddies than mom-and-daughter, although it’s cool it sometimes is a hassle for Lorelai on where to draw the line. Each season(I’ve watched seasons 4,5,6) could stand on its own without you even watching the previous ones, you can pretty much catch up with the story. The stories are down to earth, and mostly what would happen in such scenarios, although sometimes they(writers) mix some ridiculous character(s)(Kirk, Taylor) just to keep it from being stale. I just watched the 5th season, that was the first time I’ve seen a big friction between the 2, where Rory got involved with her old flame, Dean(Jared Padalecki ) who was already married, the two didn’t spoke with each other until Rory realised her mistake during her Euro trip. The budding romance between Lorelai’s long time friend, Luke, began to blossom during this season and I think in Season six there’s wedding bells in the offing, I have yet to watch this season with my wife. Season 6 been sitting on my laptop for some time, but as always I wanted to watch it my wife since she loves this show as I do.

Lauren Graham has been nominated several times already, sadly no awards yet, reward or no reward though she’s just the epitome of a Lorelai Gilmore; the production would be hardpressed to find an alternative should she leave, which I think she won’t. Alexis Bledel is just so angelic, which could be both good and bad for her, good because she really looks and behaves the part of Rory but isn’t credible enough for other roles(her role in Sin City still reminds me of Rory not Becky the prostitute) and could be typecasted. She still doesn’t look like 25 years old, she’s just too baby face for mature roles, although it didn’t stop Winona Ryder. Hopefully she gets a meatier role next time.

We’ll start watching Season 6 this Friday(Nov 17) during my wife’s day off, and spend another day with the Gilmores.

It’s been a year and a couple months since my wife left for the Philippines, and it’s been a whirlwind of a time trying to adjust. I guess what makes it really difficult for me is that we never really got the chance to be together. We’re basically 180km apart and we just saw each other once a week, we’re fortunate if I got assigned there for a week for a project but that’s about that.

Good thing though, she will(hopefully and God willing) be here before the end of April this year and she’ll be working very near to our accomodation. We’re planning to rent an outside accomodation near the place of pickup to her hospital. Maybe it’s just that I missed her so much that when I chanced upon Orange and Lemons‘ song "Hanngang Kailan", I couldn’t help but relate to the lyrics.

Hanngang Kailan by Orange and Lemons

Umuwi ka na baby…
Umuwi ka na baby…
Umuwi ka na baby…

Instead of Umuwi ka na "Bumalik ka na" would be more appropriate. Anyways it’s just a matter of time….

Do you feel bottled up with all the things that you wanted to tell to someone, and yet you can’t? Have you ever wondered how things could’ve been between the two of you?  Have you ever felt so deeply to someone that it still lingers?

Imagine when one day, after 6 yrs she turns up in your mailbox and greets you. Bottled up emotions starts to flood your senses and confuses you. You both got up to speed on what’s been happening to both your lives. She still is stunning, and the sweetest smile as far I have imagined. She’s very happy with her life, her daughters, her family. The feelings you’ve kept for so long gradually fades into oblivion, as you inevitably realise how insignificant it is in the face of much more greater and benevolent feeling:That I am happy for her. She feels the same way too.

I’ve been able to tell her how much she means to me by simply letting it go. It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t wonder anymore how things could’ve been between us, rather how things could’ve been without my wife. I couldn’t imagine growing old with someone other than her. The feeling may still linger, but it lingers only in the deepest recesses of my heart. There it will stay as a once but fleetful feeling of bliss, never to be felt again.

I’ve setup another blog but this one will purely concentrate on technical things. As I’ve been quite rusty from writing and needed an outlet to contribute to Filipino developers enter : Bonski’s Tech Blog .  My friendster blog will purely be non-tech.

I finally got my hands on Dino Esposito’s "Programming Asp.NET 2.0 - Core Reference"
got mine  the cheaper way. I asked an Indian friend of mine to buy me this book in their country as it is cheaper there coz (and I can’t believe this is not happening in the Philippines) there are partners of the publishers in their country and they are re-printing it as a book using low-cost material(But for sale only in their country of course). The materials are not that important to me but the content.

Anyhow, I’ve started reading it yesterday some of the materials are already available in MSDN as the author is also a writer there(no surprise) but since I’m more used to an actual book as opposed to an ebook(of which I have hundreds) , I was able to (finally) understand some the intricacies of the Asp.Net Page model and it’s compilation process. I’m excited about the new features of 2.0, especially the pluggable architecture(Membership, Roles) coz I’m trying to find a way to integrated our existing security and roles architecture using the Provider model. Stay tuned

I always thought of scenes in movies where someone is leaving somebody and rivers of tears flowing, as over the top. But then I found myself in that situation yesterday(28-07-05) when my wife left for Philippines after finishing 4 years of hardwork here in the land of dune, an experience which is very painful for both us. My wife was very emotional crying even the night before and crying even more as we watched ourselves from afar. Although I kept myself cool I still couldn’t hold back the tears flowing as the inevitable came.

Sitting there in the bus as I went home, I feel the emptiness inside as a very huge part of me got in the bus to go to the airport in Bahrain on a plane bound for the Philippines. Now I know how it felt the way they portray it in the movies, i’m living it now…

I finally got to see the last(?) of the prequels through a bootleg copy(although clear it was a russian titled but dubbed in english) of "Revenge of the Sith".

Anticipation built from the anxiousness to be able to watch it in wide screen and surrounded with dts audio, I had to content myself on the clanky tin-sound audio of my laptop; As the story progress though the questions just keep building up and inevitable quite disappointed when it climaxed.

The story is supposed to tell SW diehards how Anakin metamorphosed into Darth Vader, but the events and reasons that followed was so lame that I can’t help but be disappointed about it. How can Anakin really betray Mace Windu, by believing that the Jedi Council is overthrowing him when in fact Palpatin himself revealed that he is Darth Sidious and that alone prompted Anakin to report him to the Jedi Council. And in a suddent turn of events Anakin chose still Palpatin over Mace Windu when the latter had the former on the ropes. Tsk tsk… what gives??? Still believed Palpatin’s word point blank that he will be able to
teach Anakin how to save Padme? WTF????? tsk.. very disappointing… I would have hoped that the death of Padme could’ve triggered but….

Good thing I haven’t bought those 2 prequels… I’ll stick to classics which I have…

… A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…..

Its just unfortunate that i’m stucked here in Saudi with no visible theather to go to, otherwise you will see me queuing with several hopefuls to see the last(?) of the prequels.

Sige lang I’ll buy myself a DVD to watch when I come back home hopefully this December in the Philippines. I’ve seen the trailers and looks very good, although some disappintments about how they still picture Anakin Skywalker very young for a Darth Vader and also a young Obi Wan Kenobi when he could be pushing 40s by then since the sequel trilogy started 30 years after. Anyways aesthetics aside I think the movie centers around Annakin’s transformation to Darth Vader and why the episode 4 is entitled a new hope… the theme is obviously dark but I still have to see for myself..

It has to beat The Empire Strikes Back though.. at the best of them all…