Love being blind
During my junior year in college, I was head over heels over this girl. I was so in love with her, she was basically the center of my world. Our relationship wasn’t official, we sort of had a mutual understanding(yes, the cliched MU), being so naive and anxious of having a girlfriend for the first time(I bloomed late), I provided anything she wants and let her felt how she meant to me. She was the sun of my solar system. I was so blinded about what I felt for her that I ignored telltale signs that she still wants her ex-boyfriend.
Then the day after our sem-break , she broke the news that she still wants to be with her ex, and she can no longer reciprocate all the things I’ve been doing. Naturally it was a major major heart breaker, I was crushed I’ve never felt so miserable during that time. I went home listless, I didn’t have the appetite to eat that my father talked to what happened to me. When I poured out my misery, he laughed at me in a consoling way(I didn’t know there was such a thing), what he told me forever etched in my mind: "We are bound to fail, to get hurt especially with the matters of the heart. But the bright side is that, you learn to be stronger and hopefully more wiser." It stucked till this day.
Why am I bringing up the past after all I’m happily married? It has something to with how "love"(this really is a strong word) has blinded a person I care alot. I thought she was over this person already as she isn’t treated as she should’ve been. And I know for the fact that she no longer wants to talk about him again. However, having talked to her again today, she was all in bliss, the smile and giggle so infectious I couldn’t help but reciprocate. It seems that they’re getting back together again. I don’t know this guy personally, but as any love-struck person would say:"I only see the good in you, damn the others for saying otherwise."
I don’t like to meddle with others relationships, maybe I was ticked-off because this is how I felt and behaved way before. I don’t want her to feel the same way I did, being a big bro to her(not related though.) Maybe she needs a big knock in her head to realize to thread lightly and exercise prudence. But then again, if she is bound to experience things like I did to be stronger and hopefully wiser, so be it then. Bottom line though, if she is happy I’m happy.
What happened to the girl I had MU? I was able to win her back but broke off right college graduation, I guess we weren’t meant to be in the first place.
February 1st, 2007 at 11:26 pm
yup, you’re right…LOVE is really a strong word, has a great impact which brought us both happiness, loneliness, pain, hearthache and at the same time thought us how to be strong because of the experiences we encountered. and because of this word, sometimes it’s difficult to decipher those events that took place in our lives. i was blinded or maybe a victim of this before wherein i gave my best, my love to the person whom i really loved that i thought it would end up to be the two of us but the sad thing, it didn’t happen. it took me years to recover from the pain which of course he didn’t know that i suffered that much but i’m not a fighter when it comes in loving a person because i just wanted him to be happy so i gave him up even inside me i was terribly hurt. until now i know that he has a place here in my heart but of course not that special as it was before…hehehe… now that i have my husband whom i love so much, i found the real meaning of LOVE and i know already how to fight just to be happy after years of agony.
February 3rd, 2007 at 12:24 am
…im sure n’iisip n ngaun nun “adopted sister” mo un sinabi mo and sana n’absorb nya un sinabi mo… (cross finger), but we cant bLame her… when it comes to Love, accept the reaLity, Lahat nagiging stupid… “prang ako” kLa ko i can Live w/o him, un tipong die f he wants kse wLa n ko pkeLam s knya pero pg ndyan n!, aun! eng eng nnmn ang gaga, cant hide un pgiging inLove! d ko nga aLm kun keLan ako mtututo eh…, n’iiba un karakter ko s movie pg un Love eh pumasok n sa eksena…, oh bka nmn kse wLa tLga akong kwenta kse d mrunong mgaLit!? keLangan b tLga un ksumpa sumpang emosyon pra mgising s ktotohanan…? tc
February 3rd, 2007 at 1:40 am
@gilda:Am I the one you’re referring to?Hehe can’t assume that much. We did have a wonderful time together, but I’m happy you’re married now, congratulations.
@mariecel: It is only on our failures that we learn and strive to succeed. Don’t be too hard on yourself, I’m sure you see something in him that I/we don’t. And you’re a lady now, you know how to handle these things and if you don’t you’ll learn. Sorry for being so overprotective, I tend to be like that sometimes, especially to someone I care about.